“Everyone is a perfect parent before they have kids…”
Truer words have never been spoken. Do you remember back in the days before you had kids and you got all judge-y watching moms in public with screaming, writhing children?
“My children will never behave that way. They will act appropriate when we are in a store.”
Let’s all just take a moment to laugh at our younger, naive, childless selves and pour another glass of wine.
Before I had Reagan, I had grand plans to make all of her baby food myself (seriously?), she was going to not use a pacifier (she got one at like a week and a half old when our Lactation Consultant urged us to try one as I cried with Reagan on my breast, the human pacifier) and we were going to prohibit TV until she was older (we watch Moana or Frozen at least three times a week).
It’s no secret, mom-ing is hard work! I think it’s so important to remind ourselves that even if we don’t fit the mold of the “perfect mom” that we had imagined, we are still the perfect mom for OUR kids. What works for one of us might be the complete opposite for others and that’s ok!
To give us all a bit of comic relief, and a reminder that we’re all in the same boat (however rocky the seas might seem some days), I complied confessions from real life Mamas who shared the absurd things they said before they had babies.
Melanie–I work in a daycare center. Two things that I always said was “I will have my breastfed baby used to bottles by the time he starts daycare.” Because I would look at what was frustrating for me as a daycare provider. But the day before he started daycare, I went out and bought new bottles and those were the ones he always used after that. Another thing is “I will have him sleeping in his crib from day 1.” Because it’s daycare regulation for babies to sleep in their cribs at the center and I didn’t want him to have a hard time. Yeah, we slept on the couch for 6 months until I started him in the crib. Because you have a plan and then sometimes you just have to do what keeps you sane! {17 months}
Laurie-I’d never be a co-sleeper….he was in our room until 9 months. {2.5 years}
Christine– Pacifier: “It’s a quick fix and only a bad habit to break later on. I won’t use one and we will find other solutions.” Truth of the matter, she had one about a week after we had her! Impossible. She only gets it though when she is going to bed or on long car rides. 2. Co-sleeping: “My kid will never sleep with us, it’s a bad habit and they will always sleep in their own beds so Chris and I have our time and space together.” Truth: After countless nights, which turned into countless weeks and months of sleepless nights due to ear infections, she would end up in our bed after 3-4x of her waking up and putting her back in her crib. Keeping her head raised on the pillow was the only thing that would make her comfortable, so she would eventually end up in our bed. I just learned I will NEVER judge another mom again. It’s not an easy job and sometimes you just have to do what you have to do!! {13 months and #2 on the way}
Jess-No Kindle. My kids were never going to be loud in public. (laughs..) They were only going to eat organic. I was only going to use natural medications….helllooooo to the magic of a pedialyte popsicle after an all-night puke-a-thon. I also said Logan would be potty trained before Luke was born…flash forward to Logan hiding in the corner pooping in a Pull-Up. {9 years and 6 years}
Jori–“I will always wash my baby’s toy when it falls on the floor before giving it back.” Yeah, I let him keep sucking on it even after he drops it, as long as he drops it in the house. {1 year}
Carri– There isn’t a ton that I said I’d never do because, well, I’ve learned from my sister and sis-in-law that it can be a crap shoot. Haha The big one that comes to mind is electronics/tv/movies/phone. I know I’m stricter than Daddy, but on a long car ride, sometimes there is no other fix for an irate child. Haha. Oh and I hate that I have to use his crib for time out sometimes, but sometimes it’s the only way to keep him contained. {2.5 years}
Amanda–I always said I’d make my own organic baby food for both of my children…now I buy those Happy Baby food pouches like I’m prepping for a prolonged stay in an underground bunker. With Olivia, I never let anyone feed her sweets or junk food of any sorts until she was well past a year old…I personally let Noelle try a lick of my ice cream at 6 months old. Before I had children, I used to say that I would never “worry” like my Mom. I used to laugh about how laid back and relaxed I’d be as a parent someday. Then I birthed my own tiny humans and realized the minute you bring them into this world, you worry. I instantly understood why my mom asked annoying questions like what color my poop was or if I’d washed my fork after I dropped it on the floor of the hospital cafeteria and still used it to eat my meal. {2.5 years and 7 months}
Katie–“I will not let my house be overrun with toys!” {2 years and 2 months}
Paige– “I will not be that mom with the screaming kid in the grocery store” Let’s all laugh out loud now. {2 years and 5 months}
Jennifer–No food or eating in the car would be my biggest. Or not allowing them to sleep in our bed. {11 years and 7 years}
Bethany– I told myself I would ROCK at breastfeeding and get through all the struggles other mamas talked about with grace. Truth: First baby didn’t latch, had to use a nipple shield, barely made enough, and ended up exclusively pumping for a year. Basically a human cow. However, my second baby has been a rockstar and it’s a totally different experience. So my lesson has been that each baby is different and parenting a second child is way different. Another one: My kid would not be glued to my iPhone while we were out to dinner. FAIL. Started that at about 18 months. Life saver! One more: I also planned to make my baby food – and I did make some, but I actually liked picking out the organic options at the store. Liam loved the meat ones from Earth’s Best. I plan to utilize the store this go round too. I also hoped to cloth diaper. I did do it part time, and plan to do it a bit with this baby too, but I loved Pampers. I remember I registered for Seventh Generation diapers and ended up returning them all for Pampers because of leaking problems. Oh! I forgot the most important one and then I’m done…”I will rarely ever lose my shit. I’ll remember that they are young and have huge emotions and I’ll take breaks so I don’t lose it.” Biggest Lie. I lose my shit, I apologize for yelling and we both realize that we’re human. And I’m a good mom for it. {3 years and 3 months}
Kate– No TV at dinner…Yeah, well Elmo’s World is all that gets my toddler to eat! {16 months}
Jen– “My kids will not act out in public” and yet it seems to happen every time we are out in public. {7 years, 5 years, and 3 years}
Lisa– For me, I swore I wasn’t going to post pictures of Micah on Facebook…made it a month before I caved, and now it’s all I post! I also told everyone that I was going to breastfeed Micah, but it never worked out – and she’s still happy and healthy! I swore I would have her potty trained by age 2…she had other plans, and FINALLY decided the potty was acceptable a couple months ago (age 3!) I said I would NEVER co-sleep, but slept with both of my babies for the first three months in our recliner! I had much more realistic expectations when it came to Skyler. {3 years and 5 months}
Barbara– I always said I wouldn’t become my mother, and I’m happy I have. {33 years and 29 years} **I’m happy to say this is my own mama… 🙂 I’m so proud to learn from her.
Natalie– “I won’t make multiple meals, baby will eat what we eat.” Three kids later, and it’s rare that we all eat the same meal. There’s always one crying for something else… {6 years, 4 years, 16 months}
Melissa– “I won’t adjust my life to my child. She will have to adjust to OUR schedule.” Ha! Let’s just say our days revolve around nap time and bed time. And our strict schedule gets us 12 hours of sleep a night and a 2 hour nap, so I ain’t changing it for anyone! {13 months}
Tiffany– “I will never put my kid on a leash”….and I’m going out tomorrow to buy a backpack “leash” to keep her safe. {2 years}
Chelsea– “I will not let my son have a tablet before age 5.” He got one at two because I needed him to stop screaming! (Plus side, it helped his speech as he was delayed and is now most advanced in his preschool.) {3.5 years}
Kristin– “I will not let my kids sleep in our bed.” My first daughter co-slept for 4 months.
Niki–TV time was a big one for me…then Grayson’s first time crawling was toward a computer screen. Another one was I was going to read What to Expect the First Year so I could know what’s coming, but realistically I have no time to read it and I realize that every single baby is different development-wise. Grayson is 8 months and doesn’t even babble, but he will probably be walking by 10 months. There is no mommy manual. And of course there’s the tantrum thing. Grayson’s never really had a meltdown in public yet, but I sure do have more empathy towards other parents and their babies in public if their kids aren’t listening. I also co-slept for the first 9 weeks because he wouldn’t sleep anywhere else but on me. I think my bond with him is so strong because of it. Co-sleeping is so controversial, but you gotta do what you gotta do! haha I also insisted on having that foot monitor (the Owlet) and we have used it maybe five times. {8 months}
Mamas, in case no one has told you today, you all rock!!
What did you swear you would never do before you had kids? How quickly after you had said kids did those plans go right out the window?
little green pear 