Life can get crazy with a child, housework, jobs, pets, the seven mountains of laundry waiting to be folded on any given day…Especially for moms that stay home with their children, it’s so easy to pour all of your energy into your kids or your daily to-do list and forget to save any energy for your relationship.
By the time dinner is over and the kiddos have gone to sleep, it’s so tempting to sit at opposite ends of the living room, staring at your phone, watching the same old shows.
But in order to be good parents, you have to be happy parents, and making the effort to date your spouse and feed your marriage is a major contributing factor.
A few weeks ago, my parents (who completely rock by the way) took Reagan overnight so my husband and I could go out on a date night. We went all out. We got a couples massage, had a nice dinner, and stayed in a hotel room. It was so relaxing and so nice to have time to be alone without our typical parental duties. (Although let’s be real…we talked about our daughter like 75% of the time…)
Although it was so nice to have such an extravagant date night, that certainly isn’t a regular occurrence.
In this particular season of our lives – I stay home with a toddler and new puppy while working on growing my business, and my husband is working to climb the ladder in his career – it’s more important that we make a point to spend quality time together at home.
An in-home date doesn’t need a high price tag.
Cook a meal together.
In our house, my husband is really the main chef. He is the better cook between the two of us – I’m totally the baker of the house – and he enjoys it. But even just spending time in the kitchen with him while he cooks, chopping veggies or helping to prepare other ingredients, gives us a chance to chat about our day.
Play a game.
We are pretty avid Rummy players, and nothing gets you interacting more than a little friendly (or cutthroat) competition! Learn a new card game, dust off the scrabble board, or play a video game together if that’s something you both enjoy.
Put your phones down.
Whew…let me say it again. Put. Your. Phones. Down. This one is so important these days. It makes me a little ill when I look up from my phone and realize how long it’s been since either of us looked up from our phones or has said a word out loud. We’re even occasionally guilty of texting each other…from about three feet away. Yuck…
Choose a movie together.
Choose something you can both agree on, or if that’s completely impossible based on your taste in movies, alternate who gets to pick. Sit on the couch together with a couple adult beverages and a snack, and put those phones away!
Find a new TV series to get into.
We recently started watching The Resident, and it’s something we look forward to doing together on Monday nights. Or you can browse the options on Netflix so you have the option to binge watch several episodes at once. We just cruised through the office for about the 476th time.
Look, I know things get in the way. Kids get sick. We get sick. We have rough days and literally would rather do nothing more than sit and veg out on the couch in silence. We fight and have off days where cuddling up with a Rom Com is the last thing you feel like doing. There’s nothing wrong with occasionally sitting on the couch by yourself, wrapped in your own blanket, getting lost in your Instagram feed.
What’s important is that you don’t let that become your norm. Continue to acknowledge the couple that you were before you had kids. Make the effort to show each other that your relationship hasn’t been pushed to the bottom of your list of priorities, even if you aren’t able to go out on dates the way you did pre-baby.
What ways do you date your spouse? Do you have a favorite show to watch together? A favorite meal to cook or game to play together?